"My Kid's Mental Health"- A blog by a clinical psychologist

Please join us, as our Director, Dr. Kaplan presents live on Instagram for Paul VI high school, Thursday, April 30th at 7pm EST. The presentation will focus on managing parent and child anxiety during this pandemic and discussing issues such as the eventual reintegration back into the school setting.

https://www.instagram.com/pvicounseling/

Ok, folks. Here we go! Covid-19 is among us. Until now, as Director of the Washington Anxiety Center of Capitol Hill, I have decided that as a practice we needed to remain more in the shadows and treat each of our patients’ individual concerns about the virus. Recent events have now propelled me to speak further.

As a society (and I will bring social psychology into this), we have what is called diffusion of responsibility. Because we are not physically close to children starving in third-world countries, we do not think about it on a daily basis. We ‘diffuse’ responsibility to others. Now, Covid-19 is on our back doorstep and we are ruminating on it constantly.

The purpose of this blog post is to not discuss symptoms or Covid-19 recommendations. It is to discuss what is in our area of expertise: anxiety.

I have witnessed several events (majority occurring on social media) that have been concerning to me as a psychologist   These events range from parents teaching their kids how to create medical masks, checking out daily news blogs for the latest information every hour on the hour, telling your child to not talk to friends (even within an acceptable medically-recommended distance), to even telling your child the “world is ending.”

One of the robust etiologies (causes) of developing an anxiety disorder is through modeling (e.g., kids witness mom or dad be scared on a plane, so kids learn to fear flying). While there are reasons to be concerned about Covid-19 (I will not address those here), we must also be very aware of how our behaviors impact our children. We do not want our children developing schemas (i.e., ways of thinking about themselves and in relation to others) that the world is scary and dangerous. It is important to teach them that we can tolerate uncertainty, as hard as it may be to stomach. I implore our readers to recognize that each action we take, each sentence you speak, can have a very high potential to create a clinically diagnosable anxiety disorder in your child.

As for us as parents, well, it is important that while we recognize everyone is experiencing anxiety as a collective, that it does not mean it is not still clinical. If you are thinking about your response to Covid-19 constantly and it is making you feel very anxious and distressed and/or you are responding with behaviors out of your own normal (e.g., you used to read the newspaper 1x a day and you are now reading it every hour and getting more anxious every time), it may be time to seek out professional guidance. Psychologists who specialize in anxiety are trained to be able to recognize what is functional and what is not. I encourage any adult, if you are questioning your emotional response to Covid-19 or it is really bothering you, please seek out help. We are here for you.

Dr. Kaplan

Director of the Washington Anxiety Center of Capitol Hill

When talking with a child about hard subjects whether its race, disability, sexual minority status or something else entirely try out the 5 C’s.

1. Show you C Children respond when they know that you are approaching them from a place of love and admiration for who they are and will become.
2. Be C What made them say or think that? Why right now?
3. Encourage C After asking open-ended questions, give them space to answer and let them know that they can always tell you what’s going on in their head.
4. Provide gentle C If they said something inappropriate, teach them why it wasn’t a good thing to say and collaboratively come up with a better way for them to ask their question or communicate their thoughts in the future or a better context in which to do so.
5. Celebrate differences. A child can always shock you with a novel thought or question but they are less likely to do so if you have already spent time pointing out differences that they may see in the world, explaining them, and celebrating them. Being different from others is not a bad thing. If the world were all one type of person, what a boring world it would be.

Here are some resources to help guide conversations.

Hyperlinks to insert:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/11/22/childrens-books-can-help-start-conversation-about-race-parents-have-continue-it/

https://www.parenttoolkit.com/social-and-emotional-development/advice/social-awareness/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-race-and-racism

https://cecr.ed.psu.edu/sites/default/files/Ten%20Tips%20for%20Teaching%20and%20Talking%20to%20Kids%20About%20Race.pdf

What are some ways you have approached difficult topics with your kids?

Thank you to Celenia DeLapp, MA for this blog post!

Announcement:

Dr. Kaplan and staff will have a booth at the Barrack’s Row Fall Festival. Please come by and say hi and grab some information! We will be there to answer your questions!

We are pleased that we have opened a new Twitter account @WACcapitolhill.

Please like and follow us as we post relevant articles and updates relevant to kids and parenting.

School refusal is defined as when a child or adult refuses to attend school or their workplace as a result of anxiety, poor distress tolerance, or pathological avoidance.

Since the explanation of school refusal is long and complicated, our colleagues at Rogers Memorial Hospital recently released a podcast in 4 parts describing it and the treatment for it. We highly recommend you take a listen.

https://rogersbh.org/school-refusal?utm_source=Rogers+Memorial+Hospital&utm_campaign=706f18a9a1-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_05_14_02_40&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_2b85836e2e-706f18a9a1-343194849

One of the best researchers and clinicians in our field of CBT just published an updated version of their book on Exposure Therapy (the MOST evidence-based treatment for anxiety). We highly recommend it for professors and consumers alike!

Our very own Dr. Kaplan was asked to review the book by the publishers! Take a look at her review on the link to the book below!

With the exception of last summer (which I secretly hope is a result of the many talks and outreach activities our practice has given in the DC community), our child/teen appointments dwindle in the summer. Unfortunately this is not due to family vacations, but rather a strongly held “American belief” that kids needs a break from all things in the summer.

We HIGHLY recommend against the practice of only doing therapy during the school year. Our yearly, VERY predictable, schedule is that we become flooded with appointments in late September, early October. This is because the newness of school has worn off and clinical problems get their chance to emerge. In our kids who attend over the summer regularly, we see them frequently and effectively managing the stressors of transition back into the school year.

Remember it’s better to be proactive than retroactive!